Yesterday I decided that I had gone long enough without exercising. For fear of becoming a total lard butt during this pregnancy, I made the decision to get my body moving. When I was pregnant with Judah, I went to the gym about 3 times a week doing cardio and weights. It was great for me. I felt like my body was in really good shape.
Needless to say, I don't have a lot of time to exercise at the gym these days. I can get out and push the stroller around, but I find it to be less satisfying than going to the gym. With the morning sickness and fatigue I was having for the first 4 months of pregnancy, I pretty much didn't feel like doing anything at all.
Anyway, yesterday I looked up the on demand workouts on our cable menu and found a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader workout. It ended up being pretty great. At first I thought it would be too intense for me and my growing belly, but I really liked it. I was feeling sore when I got up this morning which is always a good sign. Then I decided that I should get out and take a walk with Judah. Getting out of the house in the morning seems to help the day move a little more quickly and I know that Judah and I are both happier when we get out of the house.
I went to McCollum Park and walked around their track 3 times. I think I went about 2 miles! (The track is bigger than a standard track and field track.) I am planning on doing this more often so that I can keep moving. I really don't want to be out of shape, gasping for air when I'm in labor. They say that the better shape you're in before you have your baby, the easier labor will be on you. Gotta keep moving!
Other than that, I've been having a tough time with Judah lately. It seems like as soon as Andrew walks in the door and I start making dinner, Judah needs all of my attention. He doesn't want to be with Andrew, he wants me and me only. The second I start chopping vegetables and getting dinner ready, he pretty much turns into one giant meltdown. It's been very trying for me in a lot of ways. I just don't understand it, because I spend all day with him. We do everything together. Why is it that as soon as I am unavailable to his every need, he becomes hysterical? It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough for him as it is. I wish I understood the toddler mind a little bit better. Lately from dinner time until bed time it has been really stressful in our house. Andrew and I are both burned out from a long day, Judah is in tears barely able to eat his dinner because he's so hysterical, and the night turns into a sobfest for me because I feel so overwhelmed. It has honestly felt like it did when Judah was 2 or 3 months old when all he wanted to do was nurse and be held by me and didn't want anything to do with anything else.
Oh the joys of motherhood. I know this is a phase, but whenever I'm in a "phase", it seems like the phase is going to last forever. Just praying for some wisdom on how to deal with this situation and how to best parent Judah through this time. I'll probably wish for this time back, just like I wish for those times back when Judah was that little. It would just make it a whole lot easier if this little boy came with some sort of a guide so that I knew what I was doing.
Well, Andrew is leaving town again tomorrow. Company retreat in Leavenworth until Friday, then Judah and I are going over to meet up with him and his family. Not looking forward to him being away again, but such is life. The weekend will be fun! Supposed to be snow in the pass this week, so praying that we'll have a safe drive.
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